As I reload the weights, I’ve forgotten what DOM’S (delayed onset, muscle soreness) feels like because at that moment, I’m focused on getting stronger.

Stronger muscles will help me run faster, and significantly reduce my likelihood of running overuse injuries, but as I place the weight bar on my shoulders and prepare my breath for squats, being stiff and sore is out of my mind…. until I hit failure and am done with my set.

Breaking the physical body down in order to experience growth and gains, especially in terms of speed and strength, are necessary components to training.

That’s not new to me, but somehow, the very next day, I realize how much I’ve forgotten what I already thought I knew so well… as I hobble up and down my stairs with stiff and sore legs.

I like the feeling of hard work. I’m not sure when I realized I liked hard work, but I’ve always enjoyed a quantifiable result that can be measured. Maybe that’s why running suits me so much?

When I race, all I have to do is efficiently run from point A to point B, usually on a bus someone else has provided, hanging out with other likeminded folks for a couple hours… only to take off like gang-busters and head towards a big celebration at the finish line many miles away. Running really is a party. I look at my race bib, my finishing and placing medals with my official time, and see quantifiable evidence of how hard I worked- against everyone else who showed up that day. Not wonder running is so popular. Just kidding… well, sort of.

I think here at the end of 2023 as I reflect back on my year… what I’ve realized is the growth I experienced, and gains I’ve made, have been in my mental work.

For the first time in my life, I not only trained and successfully completed 3 marathons, 9 half marathons, 2- 10k’s and a 5k; but I completed 90% of my training before 7:00am. Most of my training hours were spent solo in dark mornings with my alarm consistently going off between 4:00-4:30am. Most people are asleep that early- sometimes I run in the dark down the middle of the street!

It absolutely sucked in the winter. In Utah we had a never-ending snowy winter. It literally started in early December 2022 and snowed 900” until early May. I definitely got the most bang for my buck with my waterproof socks and yak-tracks.

My mental game became sharper by working full-time, often over 40 hours a week as a medical assistant. The medical industry is tough- there’s always sick people needing to be taken care of in some capacity. In the clinic where I work, I often felt like I’m standing underneath a waterfall, trying to hold back the water and just getting completely drowned in the process.

I’ve worked for years, but never full-time, carrying full benefits. I’ve gained a greater appreciation for my husband, the load and pressure he’s carried for years. If I’m honest, mom-guilt and fighting old thought patterns such as. “you got everything done before” and “you don’t have time to be tired, other people have it much harder” and “I didn’t realize I was so weak” have been a challenge to work through. From the outside, others might look at my life and tell me to drop something- but the difficultly is, all the things I do are important to me for individual reasons.

I’m in a partnership to help provide for my family financially, emotionally and spiritually. If I don’t run, the medication free, holistic immune suppression I experience from long distance running might end. Service in the community of Christ is important to my personal faith… I’d be happy to not serve in leadership positions. Honestly I’m not a fan of inter-personal drama and prefer being a “worker bee.”

Sometimes in life- seasons are just hard. Learning to channel energy, focus on grounding and gratitude- along with running definitely have helped me cope.

As I look back on 2023- I’ve had a productive year. My highlights have not been placing in 6 of my 15 races, but in watching my children learn and grow.

I watched my oldest child graduate college, and take her first professional job working to help put her husband through law school.

I watched my second child live independently while attending college in another country and thrive while traveling the world.

I watched my third child make courageous personal choices to deal with hard things and opt into unbelievable personal growth, living a Christ-centered service experience as an LDS missionary in Michigan.

I’ve watched my fourth child manage a 3.65 GPA while taking AP classes, including a zero hour period before school… while working part time and building his own computer from scratch. He continues to take online computer development and coding classes while designing objects for others and running his own server.

My fifth child- continues to create artwork and pulled off all straight A’s in high school her first semester while taking AP classes, working part time and still having a social life. She often does thoughtful simple things around the house without asking- cleaning and cooking, just to help out.

My point is simply- we’re all working hard, in our own capacities, but I always seem to forget the challenge that mental hard work brings- just like my body’s beautiful ability to physically recover from the stress of hard work.

I have no idea what 2024 will bring. As of now, I’m still planning my year. I have 2-marathons and 3-half marathons all ready on the calendar. I’m hopeful this new calendar year will bring more happiness. I won’t quit, that’s never been in my nature. Just like running, I hope to become stronger and more efficient mentally too. I’m choosing DOM’s and optimism.